Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize