Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
