Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
