It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
