Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
