I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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