Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
