we're blogging at a bar
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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