her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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