Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
