what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize