it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I checked into jail on foursquare
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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