I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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