She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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