He is an equal opportunity slut.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
this hospital has no fireball
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
