I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
