Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
