"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
