Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
