what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
