final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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