How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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