Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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