Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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