even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
