in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
