the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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