yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
