I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
