We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize