But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need to calm my uterus...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
