He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
