No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize