wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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