So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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