GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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