I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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