Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
