Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
