So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
