you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
