So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Randomize
