therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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