Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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