i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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