Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
