That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
