He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
