Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
50% drunk capacity currently
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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