It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
