I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
