party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
