Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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