I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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