i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
