Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Randomize
