were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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