Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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