I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
