I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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